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Subject: 10/27/98 - The National Midnight Star #2124
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List posting/followup:
Administrative matters:

(Administrative postings to the posting address will be ignored!)


         The National Midnight Star, Number 2124

                  Tuesday, 27 Oct 1998

Today's Topics:
                       More Control
         RUSH DECISION '98 IS ON THE AIR!!!!!!!!
                   Radio premier Nov 4
                      Rush Sighting
           Re: The Ripps, Incubus, and DS Cover
                  Rush in movies (again)
             Different Stages: Which Show(s)?
               A Rush sighting of sorts...
                    Jeopardy question
         re: Greatings from La Villa Strangiato!
                         top ten
               Tinker Toys and the Anxious
          DS premiere coming to Milwaukee radio
                      New Rush Page
           New (pretty official!) Rush News!!!!
           A Tale of Ryche Und Rrroooollll!!!!
                        Cyber Sea
                         DF Vinyl
                    rem and pearl jam
            Rush Movie - Who would play Neil?
                 Rockline Album premiere
                 black is a perfect color
                      pigs and dogs
          AAARRRRRGHHHHHH!!! not religion again!
                     Rush in the UK!
                Rush Returns to South Park

From: Scott Aiken 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 12:55:05 -0800 (PST)
Subject: More Control

Maybe it wasn't the Elder Race.  Maybe it was the guy that actually found 
the guitar who defeated the priests and assumed control.  Well,  him and 
his band...

| Scott Aiken                                   |
|              |


From: radpoco 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 15:12:20 -0600
Subject: RUSH DECISION '98 IS ON THE AIR!!!!!!!!

Welcome to *+*Rush Decision '98*+*.  This is our third make this
one good.  If you forgotten what Rush Decision was.......I take a poll
every September to see what the peoples *current*, favorite Rush album is
of all time.  Then I post the results at a later date.   


This all you got to do to be part of Rush Decision '98:

1. Email me at:

2. Give the full name of your very favorite Rush album that you own; the
one that you adore.

3.  Pray for your favorite album to win!


That's it...Please try to get as much people as you can.

Thank You and Good Luck!!!!!!!!

Visit my WebPage at:

ICQ #  9436041		


Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 16:13:20 EST
Subject: Radio premier Nov 4

Does anyone know where I can hear the radio premier of DS in the
Dayton/Cincinnati Ohio area? If not, is there someone who will broadcast it on
the web?


Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 18:18:02 EST
Subject: Rush Sighting

Greetings fellow Rushians,
    This is my first post since resubscribing to the list after a year away at
school. I just caught the end of the Ultimate Fan League show on Fox
SportSouth. I suppose you would call it the lightning round. Immediately
following "Name two running backs with 2000+ yds in a season" (Barry Sanders
and O.J. Simpson, if you're curious) was "Name the lead singer of the rock
band Rush". I was, of course, ecstatic that the question was asked, but even
more so when one team beat the buzzer by answering, "Geddy Lee." The correct
answer gave them  enough points to move into the lead. What a way to win!
Until later...

"Wind in my hair.........Shifting and drifting........Mechanical
music.........adrenaline surge....."---Red Barchetta


Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 18:15:26 -0600
Subject: Re: The Ripps, Incubus, and DS Cover

Hey Rushians,
	Scott Deitche wrote that:

"The Rippingtons, Fourplay, Spyra Gyro, Kenny G, Boney James and the ilk
are NOT jazz.  It should be illegal to call that over-synthesized
putrid, rancid mess jazz (this is merely my opinion)."

As much as I love that "over-synthesized putrid, rancid mess.." I agree
with you.  But you can't call it rock either.  Of course, I wouldn't
consider Kenny G anything but a complete waste of studio time and blank
cd's that could be used for other good music.  But that's besides the
point.  I think that's why they classify it as "contemporary" jazz.  As
much as I love Rick Braun, I sure don't compare him to Miles.
	I want to second the recommendation form Jesse Zamudio about the band
Incubus.  I work with someone that recently moved from England.  He had
me listen to his copy of Science, it is definitely cool!
	As for the DS cover, I like to think it was totally on a whim.  I have
my reasons for this.  Not to say anyone else's opinion is stupid.  You
could very well be right.  But I think Chris Palo (in issue #2123) has
come up with the most feasible theory yet IMHO.  It's either that deep,
or it was the desire for something simple and fun.
Hugh: "Hey guys, how 'bout tinkertoys?"
Ged, Alex and Neil: "Cool idea!!"
Or something like that.

Take care.
Scott Fab...

One week to Mika's triumph (I hope)!!!


From: Jared M Rodecker 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 18:29:11 CST
Subject: Rush in movies (again)

There's been a lot of discussion about Rush showing up in movies lately, 
thought I'd add one more.  A new movie called "Whatever" just opened here 
in central Iowa and it's about some high school girls.  There's one scene 
where a bunch of kids are at a party sitting around getting high, and Tom 
Sawyer is playing as they talk (and smoke).  Pretty cool.

Jared Rodecker


From: Ryan Park 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 19:30:20 -0500
Subject: Different Stages: Which Show(s)?

Hey... I just tried to listen to "The Spirit of Radio" live at  I didn't have much luck -- I lost my connection
after about 30 seconds.  However, I *did* hear the announcer mention that
the was recorded on June 14, 1997 at the World Music Theater in Chicago.
Obviously that's the reason that Geddy yells to the crowd in Chicago... but
that also happens to be the show that I was at!  

At any rate, that was the Chicago show on the *second* leg of the tour, not
the first.  Does anyone know if the entire recording came from that show,
shows near that one, or shows from the entire tour?  It would be VERY cool
to get a professionally-produced recording of the show I was at!



From: "thomas oderwald" 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 16:30:37 PST
Subject: A Rush sighting of sorts...


Tonights Final Jeopardy answer was something to do with archaeologists 
finding 'his' pleasuredome. Of course the question was "Who was Kublai 
Kahn?" Sort of made me want that third CD on DS a little bit more!!

2 weeks to go!




Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 19:34:00 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Jeopardy question

Saw this and wanted to share:

I just caught the last minute of Jeopardy and the final question was on

"In 1997 an aerial survey found his pleasure dome which was built in the
13th century." Xanadu immediately popped in my head and I got it right -
"Kubla Khan". One of the contestants also got it right.

Ya know, sometimes it pays to listen to our favorite three amigos....


Scott Wedge -
Auburn MBA Graduate - Class of '94


From: Kevin Haines 
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 11:09:24 +1030 (CST)
Subject: re: Greatings from La Villa Strangiato!

Shane Cargill's  fingers nimbly typed:
> Picture this -
>   Rush CD's in music stores - few and far between.
>   Rush T-shirts - non -existant
>   Rush Videos - good luck!
>   Rush posters - yeah nice try
>   Rush Misc. Merchandise - forget it!!!

Hey Shane - just to reassure you that there are some more Aussies out
here busily lurking away :)  I've been lurking on and off for the last
8-9 years, and this would have to be my primary source of Rush info,
since we hear squat Rush-related news in Oz.

I've just returned from 3 1/2 weeks in Chicago, where I had a great
time listening to "97.9 The Loop", mainly 'cause they played lots of
Rush. Unfortunately I never picked up on 103.5 FM, which Rich Malitz
 suggested was the other Rush station in
Chicago. Plus I flew out at 8:30am on The Loop's "Rush Day". Doh!

But I must echo Shane's sentiments. It's never ceased to amaze me that
a band which is so huge in the US, Canada, the UK, and Europe
(apologies to any others I've missed) can get totally ignored by an
entire country. The only times I've heard any rush on the radio is on
JJJ, where they have a "New Releases" show. It'd be "...There's a new
Rush album out - here's a track..." and the album would be relegated
to the frisbee bin.

I'd be curious - anyone else have similar situations?

As far as some other Aussie bands worth checking out:
  The Mark of Cain - If you like the Rollins Band, you'll like these
                     guys. Mr. Rollins himself liked 'em so much, he
                     took over their world-wide distribution! 
  The Superjesus   - Played in Chicago last weekend (23/24-Oct) I
                     believe. Way cool.
  Spiderbait       - Had the CD blasting the doors off the rental car
                     whilst in Chicago :)

I also picked up "Burning for Buddy, vol 2" while in the US, and I
love it. Not so much for Neil's presence, but for the introduction to
some new music. I'd highly recommend it to all.

| Kevin Haines      (    | Phone +61-8-8203-3601 |
| Motorola Australia Software Centre          | Fax   +61-8-8203-3501 |
| 2 Second Avenue, Tech. Park 5095  AUSTRALIA | Time  GMT+9:30        |

when we lift the covers from our feelings, we expose our insecure spots
                                                           - Neil Peart


From: "Matt Runyon" 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 17:56:18 -0700
Subject: top ten

I've been a Rush fan since 1981. My favorite Rush period is 2112-Exit Stage

Here's my top ten:

Black Sabbath
Rolling Stones
Blue Oyster Cult
Deep Purple
Frank Marino & Mahogany Rush
Led Zeppelin
Jethro Tull
Creedence Clearwater Revival


From: "Anderson, Chris " 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 20:38:50 -0500
Subject: Tinker Toys and the Anxious

I must say, half of the enjoyment of Rush sometimes
comes from just seeing what album cover they come up with!
The Tinker Toys thing is awesome!  I personally don't 
go for the album covers of Presto or Roll The Bones, but that's
about it. captivating as ever.

>...with Tinker Toys!!!!
Way to go BOYZ!!

Chris A.

ps.  The anxiousness in my non-net audio clip mind
is starting to pound.  Can't wait 'til Nov. 10......but I will.


From: Thomas Gillingham 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 19:54:54 -0600
Subject: DS premiere coming to Milwaukee radio

Hey folks:

I e-mailed Lazer 103 here in Milwaukee, and this is the response I got!


Lazer will air the Rush premiere Tuesday night, November 3rd, at Midnight.


So, anyone in, or around, the Milwaukee area, be sure to tune in to 102.9FM
that night!

I will try to record it, although I do work the day shift *sigh*

BTW, tomorrow (October 27) is the release date of Dream Theater's "Once In
A LIVEtime" double live disc and "5 Years In A LIVEtime" video!!!  Anyone
planning on buying these?  Man, all these great bands releasing live
material within weeks of each other.  Gawd...I just don't know what to do
with myself! :-D


ICQ# 15240956

The Time Is Now!
Help Induct Rush Into The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
Send Your Letters Of Support To:

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Foundation
1290 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10104


From: "Dave Larsen" 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 21:06:11 -0500
Subject: New Rush Page

Greeting's All,

With all this free time on my hands I have been able to get my Rush page
at least half way up and running. If you have a chance stop by. So far I
have pictures I took during the Grace Under Pressure and Test for Echo
tours. Due to system problems I am a little delayed on getting the rest
of the pictures scanned but will also have Signals Tour pictures
available within the next few days.


From: "James M." 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 21:06:19 -0500
Subject: New (pretty official!) Rush News!!!!

This is another article from the webiste. Their news
has ALWAYS been pretty much accurate and on the nose. Here we go..:-)


According to a source close to the band, RUSH will enter the studio in March to
work on a follow-up to Test For Echo. The planned release for the record is
December 31, 1999. As for the 'MIA' status of drummer Neil Peart, he has 
apparently been found in Vancouver mountain climbing. However, about a month 
ago, Peart suffered a motorcycle accident in Japan when he wiped out a BMW 
High Performance bike on a race track. He suffered minor injuries only. Peart 
has been travelling around the world coping with the loss of his wife
which occurred earlier this year. Now it appears that Peart, Lifeson and Lee
will be ready to hit the studio. Rush's Different Stages triple-live CD will 
be out on November 10. The Japanese bonus track will be 'Force Ten'. Watch 
for the video which to accompanies the record to emerge in early 1999. In 
related news, watch for a symphonic CD covering epic Rush tunes like 'Xanadu', 
'Mission', 'Natural Science' and 'Jacob's Ladder'. As well, there is
a forthcoming book called Mystic Rhythms about the lyrics and poetry of the


Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 21:49:45 EST
Subject: Stages

anyone hear any of the tracks off of Different Stages?


From: "Chaz Mattson" 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 22:55:51 PST
Subject: A Tale of Ryche Und Rrroooollll!!!!

Und Hallooo Pilgramage, both faah an' WIde!!! you' an' you'' yewwwww!!!!!

Please forgive me, it is now 11:30pm and I have been 
glued to my desk at work since 7:30 in the please...
Forgive us our cynical thoughts!!!!  (Or delusionary...or just
lack there of brainwave mentality!)

Well I have to tell a tale of good news and metal merchant merriment 
meandering maticulously mearly mo monsaveones monofones mansouls...


But seriously folks...this past weekend on Saturday night in Denver, CO 
{Land of the World Champions and Jaguar Killers....}  I had the 
priveledge of meeting and hanging out with a couple guys from the 
Seattle area who call themselves Queensryche.  

I just gotta tell ya, they are a class act, as classy as they get.  
These guys were surrounded all night long...and continueally met the 
demand for fan was an invite only party...but these guys 
were truely great, genuine, personable guys to get to know.  Eddie 
Jackson and I had a few laughs togeather over his golfing skills and he 
was a little bit open about some other personal stuff as well.  I 
basically got to spend a little time with all the guys except for 
Michael Wilton...who was mobbed beyond mobbed...they all looked to enjoy much as some of it may have been uncomfortable to deal 
with...just being surrounded by folks you don't know... but they all 
seem to think they know you....

They played four of their new songs over the PA (not live) and they 
appear to be headed for a February release from what I was hearing...of 
course they are on a new lable...but I never got an answer as to which 
one they were on...(sorry...what was I thinking?)  

It was great to meet the guys...lets face it there are not too many 
RUSH, Queensryche, Iron Maiden, Metallica types of bands around that get 
their fair shake from national radio.  All I could do was just wish the 
guys the very best of luck in the future and just encourage them to keep 
kickin' it!!!  

Scott R. put the absolute most excellent autograph on the brim of my new 
Queensryche hat...I mean it looks definitely looks like an 
autograph....Geoff signed an old Mindcrime workout shirt of mine...and 
yeah he said it best..."This shirt's seen better days."

We took lots of photos...if any of them show up on a web site I'll 
mention the URL...take care RUSH clan...



Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 04:59:57 EST
Subject: TSOR

I've been watching the posts and the TNMS web page for dates of Single and CD
releases of DS.  As of a week ago, (circa 10-15 Octoberish), most of the local
record stores here (Fayetteville, NC) had no idea Rush had a new album coming

The only local radio station claiming to be playing the new single TSOR would
be WRDU 106.1 in Raleigh.  For days, I listened when I could, with never even
a mention of the new single.  

Finally, the other night, I was driving home late from work.  I was getting
into my car after making a quick stop at the grocery store.  The moment I
turned on the radio, TSOR began. (That's a pretty amazing event in itself.
You never hear the beginning of a song when you turn on the car or switch

Anyway, I had to drive around the block a couple times until the song ended.
Just when it was over, I glanced at my watch.  It was 21:12.


From: Ward Ruth 
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 05:41:24 -0400
Subject: Cyber Sea

well were do I begin , I'm listening to T4E and I'm reading some of the
latest posts. There are sometimes that I read these posts and I wonder
if the posters listen to Rush or just post  to read their own thoughts
on the screen. I'm not a know it all and do not pretend to be ( I do not
want to viewed as some one above anyone on the list ). But I can view my
life and the for lack of a better way of saying it the band RUSH has
given me a just view on life (one that hits real close to the way I
think about things). I think it has helped me to say to myself that I am
not the only person to think this way. I want to say I AM NOT A VICTIM
of the choices I have made, to put it in to a philosophy that can be
understood, Read Ayn Rand. So what if Rush is done, who cares, it is the
thoughts that they provoke when you listen to them. Will life go on?
YES. It is as simple as that? YES, trust me. I have to tell you a
thought that I always have when I discuss Rush music to anyone ( be it a
long time listener or someone just turned on to Rush ) is that I wish
they were there when I first started listening to the band. It's hard to
explain, I just wish that they could have enjoyed the self discoveries
that I know, to grow up with the band in a sense. These are the views (I
think it can be a view of individualism) presented to the listener, if
YOU care to LISTEN.

The interpretation of songs is of course up to the listeners. But also
you have to look at the philosophy of the band, what makes them tick,
this is what I think that is very thought provoking. Does anyone know
what is going on in the head of Neil, Gary or Alex?, of course not. So I
have to ask myself and to the speculative posters WHY and WHO the FUCK
cares?, When they they record, it is up to the listeners and
thoughts.... a philosophy.... and yes it is a philosophy. They are
recording what they think is their best at the time, and believe me they
DO NOT care what you think. Even with all your alternative philosophical
understandings. Be it CTH or NS or TSS, Rush will continue to be Rush,
either in new sound recordings or in the many tapes and cd's that we
have a privileged glimpse's of their view of their best at the time.


From: Nei Wyatt 
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 13:04:14 +0000
Subject: DF Vinyl

Hmm. This stuff about UK ltd vinyl pressing ... no record shop that I
have found here in England knows anything about it! In fact one shop
have just informed me that the company rep has a UK CD release of
November 16th, while the rest of Europe is November 9th! Does anyone
know what's going on?


From: Rocky Landsverk 
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 06:19:32 -0800
Subject: rem and pearl jam

could someone please e-mail a review of the new r.e.m. album? thanks. i
don't want to buy it if it sounds like monster.

also pearl jam news -- a live album coming out in november.

rush content -- rush is great. they RULE.


Rocky Landsverk - Associate Editor / Sports
Krause Publications


From: Jose Ramos 
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 09:43:30 -0500
Subject: y2k


I agree with Dennis Benjamin that we should live life to its fullest
possible extent while we are on earth.  Believe me, anyone who knows me
intimately can attest to my opinion in this matter.

However, Dennis, are there 12 MAJOR religions?  Can you list them, please.
What exactly qualifies as MAJOR.  And you can't list RUSHISM as one of them,
although I am sure some people on this list would dispute this.

All in all, I truly believe it is arrogant and naive to believe that just
because the number 2000 is aproaching, all hell is going to break loose on
earth.  (And I am not talking about the y2k computer problem).  I am talking
about meteors and tidal waves and mass destruction.

It's only my humble opinion.

Peace Dennis and all Rush-heads,


From: Jose Ramos 
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 09:47:25 -0500
Subject: Rush Movie - Who would play Neil?

Hey Rush-heads,

In reply to Dennis Williamson's question of the day:
"If there was a movie made about Rush, who would play the band members?"

IMHO, I think Neil should be played by Jack Klugman.  Remember the Odd
Couple episode when he had to fill in as the drummer for Felix's band.  He
had some real talent on the skins, don't ya think?

Please send in your votes.



From: "Grauw, de H.(BNS SU NO)" 
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 16:09:00 +0100
Subject: Rockline Album premiere

Hi all,

since the Rockline Album premiere most likely isn't going to air on Dutch
radio, would anybody be so kind & tape it for me? That would be much
appreciated. A Rotterdam 87 show (HYF) could be in your future if you do.




From: "Michael Z. Williamson" 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 10:16:07 -0800
Subject: black is a perfect color

>(Chuck Flowers) said:
>How about white t-shirts.  Black went out a long time ago, along with
>three-quarter sleeve jerseys.

Where do you live?  Because any time I stock a T-shirt on white (except
for Barney Rubble behading Barney the GPD, "There can only be one" for
some reason), everyone asks, "Can you get it in black?"

Of course, that could just be my particular clientele--gun shows, SF
conventions, re-enactments, media people.  But we love black.  I even
dyed my daughter's baby clothes black. 

Black is a perfect color.  It goes with anything.  Anything black, that
mike  Edged weaponry, from the stone age to the space age.  
If we can send a politician into space, why can't we send all of them?


From: "Michael Z. Williamson" 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 10:25:25 -0800
Subject: pigs and dogs

David Ayers sigged:
>"Never teach a pig to sing.  It wastes your time and annoys the pig." -
>Murphy (also a lesson learned after the Roseanne/National Anthem >debacle)

AFIK, this quote comes from Robert Heinlein.  But Pournelle's
counterpoint was more philosophical.

And it would have made a better basis for a song than "Dog Years."  I'm
glad Neil admitted to being hung over.  I'd hate to think he wrote that
garbage sober.

mike  Edged weaponry, from the stone age to the space

If we can send a politician into space, why can't we send all of them?


From: "Michael Z. Williamson" 
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 10:32:16 -0800
Subject: AAARRRRRGHHHHHH!!! not religion again!

>Dennis Benjamin said:
>There are however ten major religions in the world who's calendars stop 
>somewhere after the year 2012. 

so what?  That same crap happened regarding the year 1000.  Dates are
arbitrary and irrelevant.  

>Scientists and Clergy both agree that there will be some kind of major 
>earth-changing event in the middle part of the next century.

WHICH scientists?  Names, please.  And what exactly is a "Major
earth-changing event?"  The reintroduction of BETA VCR's?  Rush getting
into the RNRHOF?  A meteor strike?  The Cubs winning the pennant?  The
Colts winning a game?

The world will be here.  Whether or not we are depends on whether we use
religion to salve our consciences, which is what it is good for, or as a
basis for paranoia, which it is good for but shouldn't be.

If this posts offends anyone, you don't listen to enough Rush.
mike  Edged weaponry, from the stone age to the space age.  
If we can send a politician into space, why can't we send all of them?


From: "Greg Sanderson" 
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998 09:55:59 PST
Subject: Rush in the UK!

Dear All,

Just a quick note to celebrate my having re-surfaced on the list again, 
having re-located to Guildford, Surrey, UK.

Now the important bit:

If there are any TNMS'ers on-campus at the University of Surrey, 
Guildford who are drooling at the thought of all the radio-play the boyz 
are getting on the other side of the pond, despair no more!

(cue fanfare)

GCR (Guildford Campus Radio) 1602 AM

proudly presents


with yours truly as host

Every Wednesday, 9-11pm.

More Rush than you can shake a stick at...

And Free Beer...

Anyway, just thought I'd put that shout out.

Stay tuned for future, more-Rush-themed posts!

Rolling Bones,

Greg Sanderson


From: "Pete & Rhonda Mills" 
Date: Sat, 24 Oct 1998 21:02:58 -0500
Subject: Rush Returns to South Park

Hey Rush-Heads.

Not terribly original here, but I thought a sequel might be in order -
featuring correct character names and Easy-To-Follow Kenny Lines this
time around.  For a refresher, the first one appeared in NMS #1821.  Or
1820.  Or 1819, somewhere around there (Thanksgiving '97)... maybe
someone who knows could post.  Seeing that one first could help
newcomers with a couple of the jokes.

As Always, apologies for the language contained herein.  In no way is
this an attempt to gain economically or monetarily from the show "South
Park", Wed. nights at 10p/9 central on Comedy Central.
Easily offended?  Might want to scroll down.  Unfamiliar with South
Park?  We all pity you.  
And many thanks to Kind and Benevolent Rush-Mgr for allowing digest
space for this lengthy bit of fun.
Do please, enjoy...

Rush Returns To South Park

Open at the bus stop.  Stan & Kyle, both wearing Rush concert shirts,
stand with Kenny.  he notices their shirts.

Kenny:  Wrd u fhhkrs gll hs nn?
     (Where'd you fuckers go last night?)
Stan:  The Rush concert in Denver, dude.  It was sweet.
Kenny:  Hh, fhhk, nnt ztt ingn!  D dkts ntzs zrts fos u e fhkn btt ld fj
  (Oh, fuck, not that shit again!  The tickets & those shirts cost you a
fuckin butt-ream of cash?)
Kyle:  No, dude, they were free!  Geddy Lee gave them to us.
Kenny:  Ree!?  Hy d fk dndn u ssk mh t ghh?
  (Free!?  Why the fuck didn't you ask me to go?)
Stan:  You were dead, dude.  Neil Peart ran you over on his motorcycle.

Kenny stares blankly at Kyle & Stan.  Cartman walks up with his walkman
cranked full blast, screeching away.

       IN HIS PANTS!!
He turns the walkman down.
EC:  Hey guys.  That concert last night was ki-ick ass!   Oh, hello
Kenny.  And where's your Rush concert tour t-shirt?
Kenny:  Fk u, Ctmn.
EC:  Could it be... that you're so poor you can't afford to lick the
sweat off Alex Lifeson's nuts, let alone afford this fine....

Whack!  Kenny pounds Cartman in the face.

Stan:  Chill out you guys.  Everybody's going to be way jealous of these
shirts.  Too bad everybody couldn't go last night.
Kyle:  Yeah.  Wouldn't it be cool if...

The scene dissolves to a fantasy sequence on the bus.  Everybody is
wearing a Rush concert shirt, including the bus driver, who''s been
replaced by the bus driver from The Simpsons.  Everyone is singing,
bobbing their heads in unison...

(just the girls) THE MIRROR ALWAYS LIES!!
Driver:  OK, let's hear another one!

Scene suddenly comes back to reality when the bus pulls up & the door
opens.  The bitchy driver is wearing a faded Menudo t-shirt.
Driver:  What-are-you-staring-at?!?!  Get your
ridiculous-shirt-wearing-butts-onto the buuuus!!!

They climb on board.  Cartmans sings quietly to himself.  Everyone else
is silent.

Stan, to Kyle:   This sucks, dude.

They get off the bus & walk toward school.  The boys stop and turn when
they hear something.  The sound of a revving engine gets louder & louder
until a BMW motorcycle blasts into the parking lot full speed & volume,
and proceeds to do smoking burn-out donuts on the pavement.  Stan & Kyle
can't believe it.  Kenny is shaking with fear.

Kyle:  Dude!  Is that who I think it is?!
Stan:  Yeah.  What's his problem anyway?

Kenny shrieks & runs inside as the cyclist screams out loud & peels onto
the highway, speeding away.  Inside, the boys sit down.  Mr. Garrison
notices their shirts.

Mr. G:  Oh, I see you boys attended last night's satanic ritual of death
in Denver....
Stan:  Oh shit, here we go!

Kenny smiles & laughs.

Mr. G:  Mr. Hat has a few questions for you.
Mr. Hat:  Sacrifice any young, nubile virgins, boys?  Taste the blood of
the annointed goat in glorious honor of Ra the Damned, patron saint of
the festering boil?
Kyle:  (pissed)  Mr. Hat is totally full of shit, Mr. Garrison... mostly
because you've got your hand jammed so far up his ass!

Class laughs.

Mr. G:  Oh yeah, Mr. smarty pants?  Well it just so happens that I was
so worried about you last night, that I took my video camera to
Denver... and snuck backstage to catch those bastards in the act!

Class gasps.

Mr. Hat:  That's right Mr. Garrison. We sure saw an eyeful last night,
didn't we?
Mr. G:  Yes we did, Mr. Hat.  Let's show all these ungrateful little
deathslaves what fate almost befell them, shall we?

Garrison walks over to a TV & VCR and hits play.  The home video shows
the backstage area, and carefully ducks through a door marked 'Band
Members Only'.  A large security guard is talking with 2 teenage girls
in Rush t-shirts.

Guard:  So... you wanna meet the boys in the band, huh?
Girls:  Yeah.  We'd do just about anything....
Guard:  That's what I love to hear.  Follow me.

They walk around a corner.  Moments later, the camera follows them down
a dark hallway.  Faint chanting grows louder until the camera turns a
corner into a room lit by torches.  The girls are tied to 2 poles, both
naked.  They are surrounded by dark, hooded figures holding candles and
chanting incantations.

Stan:  Holy shit, dude!
Mr G:  Oh, you haven't seen anything yet.  Watch who joins the party!

3 figures in red robes surround the girls.  They pull back their

Mr. G:  There's the true nature of your 3 supposed master musicians,
boys and girls.

The 3 figures begin terrorizing the girls and working the other ceremony
participants into a petulant frenzy.

Kyle:  Wait a second, Mr. Garrison.  That doesn't look like Geddy Lee.
Mr. G:  Shut up and deal with your deception, Kyle!
Kyle:  Dude, that's not Geddy Lee.  That's that lone-gunman guy from the
X-Files that looks just like him.
Stan:  And look at that other guy....
EC:  Yessss......  yes, I see him.  I do believe that's none other
than... the lame lead singer from A FLock Of Seagulls!  He combed his
hair normal & now he looks just like Alex Lifeson!
Mr. G:  NO!!  No it's not the lead singer from A Flock Of Seagulls!!  
Kenny:  Wt eh mnnm.  Lgg ht ed rd ghe.  Ht knd kss keh...
   (Wait a minute.  Look at that 3rd guy.  That kinda looks like)...
Stan:  Wow, dude, Kenny's right.  That guy really does look like Neil.
Kyle:  No.  That can't be him...    Can it?

As they look at Neil on Garrison's videotape, they hear something
outside in the cold, dreary distance.  They move to the window to
listen.  Faint guitar chords and riffs, powerful yet tasteful and
soulful, echo in the mountains.  They become faster and more ominous
when a voice joins in...

"Yaaaaaaaaaaa, ha ha ha ha!!  Foolish mortals!!  You will all perish in
eternal suffering and damnation to the netherworld of souls!!!"

Kyle, scared:  Holy SHIT, dude!!
Stan, scared:  Who the hell is that?
Kenny:  Tt zc ss jtr ayynn znds fmmr...
    (That suck-ass guitar playing sounds familiar)

"Almighty King Lerxt shall rise from the smoldering embers to
(fffaaaart) claim this realm in the name of Schmengland!!   Belllllch!!!
  WOOOOOOOOO!!!  Where's my GOD-DAMN DRINK?!?!?!?! 

The playing stops.  The boys are perplexed and scared.
Stan:  Dude, this is pretty fucked up, right here....

The bell rings.  The boys leave class and head to the cafeteria.

Chef:  Hello, children!
All:  Hey Chef.
Chef:  So, how'd you boys like last night's show?
EC:  It was ki-ick ass!
Kenny:  Tr dmr ddmy tcz m ndz.
   (Their drummer totally sucks my nads.)
Chef:  Boy, what the fudge is your problem?  Not only is Neil Peart one
of the best drummers ever, but last night may have been your last chance
to see Rush forever.  I hear they might hang it up after this tour.
Kenny:  Dz bbo hggn dm.  Fk m.
   (It's about friggin time.  Fuck em)
Chef:  You should be careful what you say, little man.  Someday,
musicians might not care as much about what they do - like Rush does -
and everything will sound like that crap on top-40 radio.
EC:  Yeah, Kenny.  Keep baggin on Rush & Geddy Lee might show up & say '
HEY!!  If you don't stop talking that trash about my band, I just
might... have to kick you Squarr in the Nuts!'

The boys go sit down to eat except for Stan.  He continues to stand at
the counter.

Chef:  Something on your mind, Stan?
Stan:  Chef, what if you really like someone, but you're afraid they
might not be what they seem?
Chef:  You mean, like a cross-dressing transsexual, who looks really
good in a bar one night, but then you take her home and one of your
worst sexual nightmares plays itself out right in you own bedroom?
Stan:  (after a long pause)  No....
Chef:  Oh!  Good.  Well, what's the problem then?
Stan:  Well, I really like their music, and the guys seem pretty cool,
but I'm totally afraid that what Mr. Garrison says about Rush might
Chef:  Oh hell, boy!  You ain't talkin about that 'Ruin Under Satan's
Hand', devil-worship bullshit that poor band's been living with ever
since the red-star logo on 2112, are you?
Stan:  Well...
Chef:  Boy, listen good.  First of all, never, ever believe anything
said by somebody with his hand up a puppet's butt - except Frank Oz and
Trace Beaulieu.  People like Mr. Garrison will always be around, and
they will always say bad things about bands like Rush because their own
lives totally blow dog.  Rush's music and lyrics threaten Mr. Garrison
because they live more life in thirty seconds on stage then he will from
birth to death.
Stan:  I dont' know, Chef.  I've just got this weird feeling.  I've seen
& heard a couple things today....
Chef:  Never you mind, boy.  You just keep listening to their music &
decide for yourself what you think about them.  That's the only way.

The boys walk out to the playground, where officer Barbrady is waiting
in his car.

Barbrady:  OK, ya little bunch of chicken-sacrificers.  Hold it right
EC:  Oh good, I feel totally safe now...
Kyle:  What's wrong, officer Barbrady?
Barbrady:  You're all clothed in cursed satanic garments, bearing the
mark of the Unholy Beast.  I'm afraid you'll have to strip naked right
Stan:  No way, dude!!
Kyle:   I ain't freezin to death so you can live out some twisted
pederast fantasy, you badge-wearing loser!!
EC:  Hey!! that's the law you're talking to there...  You will RESPECT

Just as Barbrady looks like he's about to move on the boys, a huge red
18-wheeler screeches to a stop, smashing Barbrady's car.  The rig has a
huge Rush logo on the side.

EC:  Sweeeeet!!  Twice in 2 days!!

The truck rolls forward, and a huge black limousine pulls up.  The back
window rolls down, and Geddy Lee sticks his head out.

Geddy:  How's it goin, guys?
Stan:  Hey Geddy!  You guys were excellent last night!
Geddy:  Thanks.  It was quite a show.
Kyle:  Hey Geddy, what are you guys doing back here?  Don't you have
another show to go to?
Geddy:  Well, that's sort of the problem right now.  We lost Neil a few
miles outside of Denver this morning, and nobody can find Alex anywhere.
 My band's gone!  What am I gonna do?
Stan:  Oh man, that sucks.
Kenny:  Z, I gz lll b gn wk d yr nn zrzr-zss knty nn?
 (So, I guess you'll be going back to your own loser-ass country now?)
EC:  OH!!  Oh!!  I could be in the band, Geddy!!  I can play those drum
things real good!!!
Kyle:  Shut up, fat boy!  Do you have any clue how many fully-qualified
Neil Peart stand-ins show up at every single Rush concert?
Geddy:  Guys, it's OK, we'll just...

Suddenly, music begins to echo from the hills.  It's 'Broon's Bane', in
a slightly different key.

Stan:  Listen!!
Geddy:  Oh man, I think I know what's going on now.
Stan:  I knew it!!  I knew Alex was up there somewhere!
EC:  What the hell is guitar-boy doing up there anyway, Geddy?
Geddy:  Well, it's like this guys.  Rush is a complicated balance
between 3 unique personalities.  Sometimes things happen that throw off
that balance....
EC:  You mean like Alex running out of his medication in the middle of
backwater Colorado with no hope of re-filling a Prozac-cocktail
prescription, and totally freaking out and scaring the shit out of
everybody with satanic threats and new guitar arrangements?
Geddy:  Exactly.  Then when Alex freaks, Neil's capable of just about

As he says this, Geddy looks directly at Kenny.  Kenny looks around,
terrified, & moves closer to Stan.

Geddy:  I mean, it's not like he'd go sacrificing teenage girls
backstage or anything.       I don't think.
We've got to find them both before it's too late, guys.  Will you help
Stan & Kyle:  Sure, Geddy.
EC:  OK, that's it.  Screw you guys... I'm goin' home!   Searching the
mountains in freezing temperatures looking for a Prozac-freaked,
overpaid rock star is where I draw the line.
Geddy:  Overpaid?
Stan:  Screw you, Cartman.  We'll find them ourselves, won't we guys!
Kyle & Kenny:  Yeah!  Mmph!
Stan:  C'mon Geddy, we'll check the hills, Kyle & Kenny can look around

As the new arrangement of Broon's Bane grows louder, they turn to begin
their search.  Suddenly, without warning, a BMW motorcycle whizzes
through the frame, barely missing Kenny.

Kenny:  Zht!
Kyle:  Oh my God, Neil almost killed Kenny again!!  YOU BASTARD!!!
Kenny:  Fh gh, ztz tt!  Mm dkdn s mdtkrszz zz!
    (OK, that's it!  I'm kicking this motherfucker's ass!!!)
Geddy:  Oh man, Kenny... I'd be real careful about that....

As Neil slows down to turn around, Kenny sprints toward the leather-clad
cyclist with revenge in his eyes.
Kenny:  Hh, zzszll!!  Nts nr fhkkn brbm nnywh?  Uo wn zm d ds? 
(HEY!  Hey, asshole!!  What's your fucking problem anyway?   You want
some of this?!?  Huh?!?!)
Neil:  A challenge?  To...  ME?
Kenny, continuing to walk toward Neil:  Yyhk, u bnk-bzz bdh!  Rr zz z
(Yeah, ya punk-ass bitch!  Your ass is mine!)
Neil:  I think you will find you are mistaken, my young friend.  About a
Kenny:  Hh yh?  FK U!!
    (Oh yeah?  FUCK YOU!!)

With that, Kenny leaps onto Neil, knocking him off the motorcycle.  He
proceeds to stomp Neil repeatedly, breaking his arms & legs, and
generally spilling blood all over the place.

Kenny:  Dh, dh, dh, dh, dh, dh, u zn ff m ntzzh!!!!
   (DIE,  DIE,  DIE,  DIE,  DIE, DIE,  you son of a BITCH!!!)

When Neil ceases all movement, Kenny reaches down and rips his helmeted
head from his torso and holds it above his head in triumph.

Kenny:  Mmmphhh!

Kenny looks at the helmet, and raises the face shield to look into the
lifeless eyes of his enemy.  When he does, he jumps back in fright and
drops the helmet.

Kenny:   JZZS!!  Nn... NH!!  Ttd dnnd bh!!   Dt kndn v jz  hppd...
    (JESUS!!  No.... No!!  That can't be!!  That couldn't have just
Stan, to Geddy:  Dude, what's up with that?  Did Kenny see himself in
the face of his foe, or something like that?
Geddy:  Uh... might be better to let that one go, Stan.  I've learned
not to ask.   Anyway, it should be OK.
Kyle:  DUDE!!  Our friend just killed the greatest drummer on the
planet, one of your best friends... a key ingredient to your band's
success!!!  What's your deal?
Geddy:  I think the question is more like 'What's Neil's deal?', guys. 
Just trust me, I think everything will be OK.

Kenny walks dejectedly back to the group.

Kenny:  Hh dh mm.  H kdv zzn h dh m.
   (I had him.  I could've sworn I had him.)
Stan:  Don't worry about it, dude.  Let's find Alex.

Cut to later in the mountains.  Stan & Geddy continue to search with
Kyle & Kenny close by.

Stan:  So Geddy, like... how much longer do you think you guys will stay
Geddy:  I don't know, Stan.  It seems to get tougher every year.  Things
have changed a lot since we first started.
Stan:  I'm just grateful for what you guys have done over the years. 
You could break up tomorrow & your music would hold up forever.
Geddy:  Thanks Stan.  I only wish that....

Just then, the bushes near Kenny begin to shake.  Just as Kenny turns to
look, Alex jumps out & lands right next to him, knocking Kenny down.

Alex:  YYYAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!  It's tee-off time for the King of
Schmengland!!  WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Alex aligns himself, and swings his guitar back like a 1-wood.

Geddy:  Oh shit, this is not good.  Alex is really good at golf.
Kyle:  Watch out, Kenny!!

Whack!!  Alex follows through with a vicious drive, spraying Kenny's
body parts all over the mountains, where numerous rats scurry up and
devour them.

Kyle:  Oh my God, Alex killed Kenny!!  YOU BASTARD!!!!
Alex:  Oh, YEAH baby!!  He got all of that one!!!  Where the hell is my
FUCK-ING DRINK?!?!?!!  Beeellllllch!  Ffffaaaaaaarrrrrrtt!!! 
Geddy:  I'll take care of this.

Geddy produces a large rifle and loads it with a dart labeled 'Alex
Emergency'.  He raises the rifle and is about to shoot when...

Stan:  Dude!  You can't just shoot Alex!
Geddy:  Oh, hey, I wont' kill him.  It's just a tranquilizer to put him
Kyle:  No dude.  Wait.
Kyle:  Now you can shoot Alex.

Geddy raises the rifle again and shoots Alex in the ass.

Alex:  OWW!!  Oh, fuck... it feels just like an... L.A. Times review...
of one of... our ....shows....

Alex's speech slurrs off as he falls fast asleep in the snow.

Stan:  Nice shot, dude.
Geddy:  Yeah, usually somebody on the crew takes care of this nowadays. 
Kind of takes me back to the mid-70's!!  Help me get him into the limo.

The boys lug Alex down to the limo and stuff him in.  Stan & Kyle look
at Geddy.

Geddy:  Well guys, I really appreciate all the help.
Stan:  Dude, good luck with whatever you guys end up doing.
Kyle:  We'll really miss you, Geddy.
Geddy:  I'll miss you guys, too.

Geddy gets into the limo, with the back window still open.

Geddy:  You ready to go, Neil?

Without warning, the BMW motorcycle hauls ass through the frame, top
speed.  Neil roars off into the distance.

Geddy:  Yep.  Back to normal.  Goodbye guys!
Kyle & Stan:  Goodbye, Geddy!

The limo speeds off and the boys watch it fade in the distance.

Kyle:  You know, Cartman's right.  He is pretty cool for a Satan
Kyle:  Dude!!  Chill out, dude, I'm only kidding.
Stan:  Oh christ, I need me some Cheesey Poofs...

The boys walk off, singing all the way home.

"We are the geeks.... with the pimples... and earrings.  
  Ou-wer great bazookas... fill marshmellow walls.
 We are the geeks....  with the pretzels... and beer kegs...
 All the gifts of life... are held within my balls."

The credits feature an authentic Rush re-recording of 'The Temples Of
Syrinx' - with these lyrics.

The End.


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End of The National Midnight Star Number 2124

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